Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
