grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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