I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
