for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
