your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
wanna go halves on a baby?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
