Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
