I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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