Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
