I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
