It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
