Sry I called you an 8
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Redeem this text for a blowjob
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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