remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
