Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
