3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
