I am puke
Me too!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Rumble strips road head = magical
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
