U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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