Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
be right there i have to get my cape
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
