Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
