If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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