Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
