I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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