I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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