Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
