Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
