I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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