no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize