I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
