oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize