good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
