I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
