cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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