If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
