What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
