Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
