Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
