Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
