I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
