people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
