My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
