they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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