me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize