I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Floor bacon is actually really good
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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