Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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