You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
