He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
