I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
