I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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