so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Come share oat with me in your robe
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize