we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
