Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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