whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
