You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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