capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
