She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I wish you could order shots online.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Found the puke drawer
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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