when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
