How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
