People in love make me want to vomit
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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