you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Sext me about skeletons
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize