how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
