Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
