Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Randomize
