He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
