yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize