i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
