I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
