i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
