garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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