He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
did i just pee glitter
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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