Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
