I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
